Eustress vs. Distress
Despite what many people believe, there is such a thing as “good” stress. I remember hearing about this some time ago and decided I would take this blogging opportunity, while I am in the midst of a challenging, life-changing experience, to explore this further.
We often times don’t associate stress with anything remotely positive, so it would seem strange to acknowledge it has a necessary place in our lives. I’m afraid that most stress management strategies propagated online emphasize stress avoidance instead of adaptation (this is anecdotal, btw). In fact, certain “stress-avoidance” behaviors practiced over a prolonged period of time can actually contribute to our overall (dis)stress. The issue might simply be a semantic one. We don’t commonly use a word for “good” stress in our lexicon, thereby conflating different types of stress.
Good stress or eustress, is the type of stress that gives us motivation. In the face of challenging circumstances, we are called to action and do so knowing full-well that the task may not be an easy one. In these circumstances, individuals experience a sense of meaning in the work they accomplish. This may be a contributing factor to why people experience good stress: they are performing a task that, while challenging, they inherently want to do and that they feel confident they have the skills and knowledge to complete it. In many cases, folks might also feel like their overarching work/career/role matters. And for this reason, these individuals look forward and hopeful to challenges to come.
When people say they’re stressed, more times that not they mean they are distressed. This is certainly a feeling that we all have encountered. We feel overwhelmed, unhappy, and often times disoriented and out-of-place. While eustress can leave us exhausted, distress can leave us feeling debilitated. We might feel we have been pushed too far or have succumbed to cognitive overload. Sadly, we also might feel like our work doesn’t matter.
Its important to note that experiencing eustress doesn’t mean you are engaging in an endeavor that is seemingly effortless. In fact, overtime if one feels like their productivity is lacking challenge, boredom, ennui, and dissatisfaction can set it. Long term dissatisfaction can make ones work feel inconsequential and in turn contribute to feelings of distress. Eustress is being pushed, but being pushed enough to where we thrive, but don’t collapse. We want to bend, but not break. And in turn, become more malleable and easier to adapt to the next challenge. You have the confidence, the tools, and the knowhow to accomplish the challenges that await you.
Anecdotally, I find that I feel a lot of distress when I start a new job. It’s usually right after the training/orientation period and it’s usually because I am worried that I have this huge undertaking in front of me and I am worried I don’t have the tools to succeed. Or that I inherently don’t belong there. This is a telltale sign of imposter syndrome: a psychological pattern whereby a person doubts their talents, regardless of their accomplishments, and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud.
Imposter syndrome can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. An individual experiences so much distress from the possibility of being exposed as a fraud, that they are unable to function in a way that allows them to perform the duties necessary to their work. And because they can’t complete their work in a satisfactory manner, the powers that be determine that it may not be the best fit for them. One might argue that the problem with imposter syndrome is that we give those around us too much credit regarding how much they know about us.
We all will experience eustress and distress at some point. While it may not be entirely up to us what circumstances conjure up those feelings, seemingly the best thing that we can do is practice positive self-awareness. Maintaining hopefulness and optimism and believing that despair is only temporary can play a huge part. Not all of us have that luxury, of course. But for those of us that succumb to our own negativity should acknowledge that we have value and can contribute. Invariably, we need to also understand when stress has pushed us too far and when it has pushed us just enough.
